What the Teacher was talking about

Hello friends,
It's Thanksgiving day here in the United Ss's, and I'm happy to have some free time to waste posting my innermost thoughts so you can be bored reading them because YOU don't have anything better to do. It's nice to know we're all in that big ol' boat together.

Here are some of the things I've been thinking about this semester:
(Warning: most of these thoughts have to do with being a professional philosopheress, and all are poetically melancholy. If this doesn't interest you, you're not to be blamed, but proceed at your own risk.)

1. There's a catch 22 hidden in philosophical discourse. If you say something that's clearly true, everyone tells you how unimpressive you are, cause everyone knew that already. If you say something clearly not true, there's a good reason not to believe it, and you get shot down. Being right is uninteresting, being wrong is indefensible, so you have to spend your time working on that very thin sliver of material that's so vague people don't know if it's true or false. Why this is worth doing, I have no idea.

2. Saying things the way the analytics want to say them, in perfect mathematical accuracy, disperses all the awkward and embarassing fuzziness of human thought. Unfortunately, it also dispenses with all the content. You can talk clearly about nothing, or fuzzily about everything. But, of course, if you're talking fuzzily, it doesn't really matter a whole lot what you're talking about because you're not saying anything. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

3. There is not a single person on the planet who is trustworthy. Everyone is fallen, everyone will break their word, drop the things they were meant to carry, at some point or another everyone is going to fail. Every friendship or romantic relationship or familial tie you have requires you to trust someone with something, the better the relationship the more you trust them with. The more you trust them with, the more sure it is that they're going to drop the ball. And yet the only way to be healthy is to toss them the ball anyways, and wait for it to hit the ground. Is it wise to expect it, or to defy reason and trust an untrustworthy soul? How CAN you force yourself to do such a thing?

4. Who are our Pharisees and who are our Alchemists? Reading history books and Biblical texts, it's hard to imagine how the common man could possibly believe the tripe that his authorities were feeding him. How could any Israelite buy into the foolish legalism of the white-washed sepulchres? How could anyone take the 'magician' chemist seriously? We tell ourselves stories about how backward their civilizations were, how strange things were before the light dawned and our great society was born. Right. Truth is in 300 years most of what we think is important, and almost all of what we think is true, will be laughable. Which is the true voice of the church today? (For my money, it's probably not the majority.) Do we have prophets wandering in the wilderness right now that we're not listening to? Which of the theories our scientists are spouting today are perfect hogwash? Most of them? All? It's been said that the only way to step outside your own culture and see it for what it is is to step into another one, either by studying an old book or by spending time in a new place. It's also been said that stepping outside your own culture is impossible. If this is true, how can we ever fihd out?

When I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.
Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.

Thought I should write

Hi Friends,
Well, it's been about a month since my last post, and I have a paper due Tuesday, so it seemed like a good time to update you all on my life in Wacko. One thing I can definately tell you is that I miss you all very much. It's been a long time since I've seen all you guys in LA and TO, and elsewhere in the wide world, and I love you all and want you to call my cell phone.

Right now Christmas is becoming close enough to be really tempting. The semester's drawing to a close and I'm starting to take stock of my first semester genuinely on my own. It's been a real growth experience, I feel much older than I did 3 months ago, and I've got a better idea of what I want to do with my life, so it's been a productive time. I've also learned alot about my own character - as long as you're living in close proximity with other people, you can be content with their flaws and blame all your annoyances on them. Once you're living alone, the only flaws around are yours, and you inevitably start getting annoyed with them. Solitude is scary, onesself is not always good company. But, looking long and hard at who you are is not a bad thing (as long as one doesn't forget once one looks away from the mirror).

One thing I've learned this semester is that Philosophising is REALLY REALLY HARD. Like, I haven't done it yet. And I might not ever. Mostly we're just blowing smoke over here. That's made me focus much more on teaching, despair a bit at the possibility that I'll ever say anything myself that's worth hearing. Thankfully, I knew I wanted to be a teacher long before I knew I liked Philosophy, and the ability this training will give me to mentor students and speak into their lives is well worth the effort. I may not be smart, but I'm charming, so kids will listen to me =) Surprisingly, I'm ok with that.

I've been thinking hard with Dallas Willard about the Disciplines recently, and trying to incorporate them into my life. This is where some of the self-exhasperation has come in, trying to be disciplined makes one believe less in free will. But, I'm committed to think about them even more seriously over the next year. I've set up an intentional discipline training schedule that I hope will really impact my ability to match my actions with my beliefs over the next year. If any of you are interested joining me in this, let me know. Disciplines are learned better in community.

I'm praying right now for some dialogue partners here that can really lead me and help me grow in my own knowledge and skill. A couple like-minded thinkers can do so much more together than one alone. And, it would be nice to have a friend to talk to about philosophy. I'm finding the field to be really combative, even in my very loving community, and wishing I could extract myself from that somehow. Give me Torrey back!!

Ok, done. Sorry, not a very entertaining post. But if you really loved me, you would read it anyways. =)
Jerome